Gateway Hospice invites people to participate in HeART Project

Grief is an experience often expressed in silence and behind closed doors. But what if there was a healing and expressive way for the whole community to remind us we are not alone in our suffering? Beginning Sunday, February 20th, at Clarion’s Gazebo Park, an art project with a unique purpose goes on display.

Gateway Hospice of Clarion is sponsoring the community-engaging “Heart Project.” The Heart Project is a meaningfully interactive way for the community to express and process the grief that has become a reality for everyone, especially since the pandemic began. Those who are experiencing loss and grief of any kind are invited to participate in the Heart Project by tying a string, ribbon or a strip of cloth to the heart.

The Heart Project finds its inspiration from The Invisible String, a book written by Patrice Karst and illustrated by Joanne Lew-Vriethoff. Gateway Hospice offers copies of The Invisible String to their clientele as a way to help families and children deal with grief and loss. The Invisible String is a conversation between a mother and her two children who run to her in the middle of the night, afraid of a storm. To comfort them, the mother shares this secret: “People who love each other are always connected by a very special (invisible) string made of love.” She says, “even if you can’t see it with your eyes, you can feel it with your heart and know that you are always connected to everyone you love.” The mother assures them that “when you miss me, your love travels all the way along the string until I feel it tug on my heart.” To which she adds, “and I tug it right back. At one poignant moment in the story a child asks, “can my string reach all the way to Uncle Brian in heaven?” “Yes, even there,” the mother assures him.

Along with sponsoring the Heart Project, Gateway Hospice will be giving away copies of The Invisible String to the first 50 families (or individuals) in attendance on Sunday, February 20th at 1pm. Ribbon, strings and strips of cloth will also be made available.

 “In ancient times, when one experienced loss, a person would tear their clothing to symbolize to the community that they were in mourning,” says Pastor Lissa Kahl, hospice chaplain for Gateway. “For the Heart Project, a person might choose to use a torn strip of their own clothing or the clothing of their loved one. Or, they might choose a string or ribbon that symbolizes in some way the person or loss they have experienced. One may tie multiple strings to the heart for multiple losses. Writing the name of their loved one or loss on their ribbon or cloth can be a meaningful addition as well.”

While we often try to deny or avoid grief, it cannot be ignored. Grief surfaces in uncomfortable ways and inconvenient times unless it’s cared for with time and attention. Grief is more than just simply tears and sadness; it’s often experienced as anxiety, anger, fear, indifference, listlessness, hopelessness, distraction, disconnection, and depression.

We can look back and see beautiful opportunities we’ve had because of the pandemic—time with children, home improvements, re-evaluating our values, connecting with nature: gratitude is an important part of working through grief. Yet it’s also important to develop a healthy awareness—to name what we’ve lost and identify its impact on us—what Jon Kabat-Zinn would call “the full catastrophe” of our emotions.

If we listen, we can hear the sound of the invisible string being tugged throughout the Clarion community:

“My 45 year old spouse died - I dreamed we’d grow old together.”

“My kids couldn’t connect with friends and family; I’m afraid for their future.”

“I couldn’t spend time with my parents; I feel guilty that their health is worse than I knew.”

“Our income sunk so low for so long, I worry we may never recover from our financial crisis.”

“If there’s anything I’ve learned during the pandemic, it’s this: I feel so utterly alone.”

            The Invisible String concludes, “As they slept, they started dreaming of all the Invisible Strings they have, and all the strings their friends have - and their friends have - and their friends have - until everyone in the world was connected by Invisible Strings. And from deep inside, they now could clearly see…no one is ever alone.”  

            The Heart Project will stay on display indefinitely for the community to continue to add to the heart. Gateway offers grief groups on the 2nd Tuesday of the month at 9 am at the Clarion library and at 3:30 pm at the Leinbach Center in Belmond. For more information, call Gateway Hospice at 515-532-2907.

            Gateway expresses its gratitude to Chantland MHS in Dakota City for donating the metal and to Jim Parsons for crafting the heart for the project.